My morning went so smooth.
I plowed through my errands and ended up back home by 1pm with all the materials for my workbench.

building day

I ate some lunch and shortly after, my body said ‘let’s take a breather. let’s think for a second.’ I reluctantly obliged. I laid down for a quick twenty minutes before I had enough. I was ready to get to it. I had set this time aside for building and so no matter what, I had to build.

That was probably my first, most obvious mistake: ignoring my body.
That decision was followed by a series of setbacks.

First, the doggie in the back slipped through the gate while I was moving wood. She wanted to see the free world and she did just that. I finally got her back into the yard and she was elated to see me. She gave me an aggressive love bath and for first time one of her nails cut through my arm, drew blood and everything. Eventually she calmed down and I kept moving. Measured the wood up, sawed right through it and moved back inside.

I lined up the wood, took a pretty picture and posted it to my first ever IG story, captioned “I heart building day;” an honest statement. I wasn’t thinking about the puppy escape, the scratch on my arm, the mosquito bites I acquired.

So now I’m in the room. The first screw I put through barely sinks through the wood because the drill has no power. I say ok, whatever. I’ll put the thing on the charger and work on something else in the meantime. Of course I can’t find the charger. I spend ten or fifteen minutes looking for it. Finally find it, plug it in and reluctantly sit down to finish some periodic paperwork I disdain.

Paperwork complete, I set out again to build the bench. The drill wasn’t fully charged but I was anxious to get done, or at the very least get started. Because the drill wasn’t fully charged, it didn’t have the power to drive these screws through the wood. And in my impatience I stripped screw after screw. Some I pulled out just before it was too late. Others got stuck and are now protruding from the legs and frame of the bench. Probably around the fifth stripped screw is when I had to walk away. I was doing nothing more than wasting time, wasting screws and wasting energy.

So in my anxious pursuit of productivity I ended up being wasteful. AGAIN. Remember that painful lesson in patience? Or starting into the sun?

There’s clearly something I’m overlooking when I set out to do these projects. When I have a task to complete, it becomes my only focus. It consumes me. I ignore everything around me and try to power through the task. But maybe I need not ignore what’s happening in conjunction with the task at hand. Maybe I need to be more observant.

I recently finished Mastery by Robert Greene and the line that impacted me the most was “You must learn to embrace slowness as a virtue in itself.” I have always prided myself in being patient, but I’m realizing I only extend that patience to people. What about me? Why am I so impatient with myself? It’s something to think about.

Now the workbench is nothing but a pile of wood. And I of course have to get back to work. So once again, my beloved building day has been delayed.

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