download the free Pre Spring Clean Project pdf (coming soon)
Spring is no surprise. We know new life and new energy are on the way at about the same time every year. Why wait until spring to prepare?
My pre-spring cleaning project started a few months ago. One corner at a time, I’m clearing my closets, book shelves, cabinets, etc. Sometimes I choose a day on which to tackle a particular space. Other times, I’m inspired by something unexpected and decide to dive in. Today, I was inspired by intimate observation of my house plants. I was sitting quietly with them, observing their rhythms of rebirth, seeing that they never losing track of their one objective: growth.
The initial purpose of the pre spring clean project was to simply to ‘get rid of stuff.’ I started off slow. It was a challenge to let go of objects that remind me of times that, outside of my memories, are no longer in reach. I found that I was attached to the nostalgia of an old life. I didn’t realize these old objects were stunting my growth. They were flakes of dead skin that needed to be shed. I didn’t realize that seeing them everyday kept me in a place of insecurity, uncertainty and immaturity. I now understand that decluttering is not just ‘getting rid of junk’ but rather purposed in making room for new life, for new objects that more closely reflect who I am now and are thus more useful.
While cleaning, I came across some photo albums I’ve had for 10+ years. I saw pictures of me as a baby girl up until I was maybe 16, and lots in between. The series ofd shots showed a shift in me. I saw myself transition from bliss as a baby into the uncertainty of adolescence. I saw my confidence crumble as I tried to become someone I wasn’t. Poor little baby. I saw what was once a fearless little girl unafraid to be seen and eager to speak up wilt into a terrified teenager who had nothing to stand for, no roots, no truth. I looked at this little girl, the poor baby who didn’t know what was coming and I cried for her. I cried for me. I cried for the me I thought I had to hide from the world. My truest self. I cried because I didn’t believe in her. I cried because though I once abandoned her, I have finally returned home. I looked at the baby and saw the brightest shine, unrelenting love and light, strength she didn’t know she had, a soldier.
I am being reborn.
A tender baby once more.
A new life.